THE NEAR ABSOLUTE ABSENCE OF PERSONAL REFLECTION TIME IN OUR MODERN LIVES MEANS MANY OF US ARE NEGOTIATING IMPORTANT ISSUES WITH NO IDEA OF WHO WE TRULY ARE AND WHAT WE TRULY WANT.


It's all about you (at first)

Before you start negotiating anything, you need a starting point.  That’s you. 

You need to know who you are, what you want in life, and why. This isn't as easy as it sounds.

An emerging hypothesis, explored by Timothy Wilson at the University of Virginia, proposes that we would rather experience pain than slow down and face ourselves. In Wilson’s study, individuals inflicted electrical shocks on themselves to avoid sitting in a room alone with their thoughts for more than six minutes. Louis CK framed it so well that a video of his rant continues to rack up online views in the millions: we text and drive, putting ourselves in obvious danger, because we are frightened by the very idea of keeping company with only ourselves.

We must work to reverse this trend in our mental engagement with ourselves.  Without knowing ourselves, we cannot hope to have a base from which we effectively negotiate.

Negotiation is emotionally exhausting. Great negotiators know who they are, what drives them, what they want from life—and that knowledge is their grounding. It gives them the energy to negotiate with endurance and the strength to do it with focus. 

 

"Without grounding, you’re just a hustler looking for random opportunities."

 

So let’s start with: who are you? What’s your manifesto for your life?  The structure is simple; the mental work not as easy. Start with these statements. 

Life Mission:

I am…

e.g. A mother of two kids, A teacher, An entrepreneur

 

My higher calling is…

e.g. To teach others. To protect the environment. To be a great parent.

 

My legacy will be….

e.g. Raising healthy children. Building a high performing business. A great book.

 

try yours:

I am…

 

My higher calling is…

 

My legacy will be….

 


This ends your free sample of The Cartography of Negotiation.

If you'd like to be alerted of news of publication, please fill out the form below.

(We even added some spots for you to fill out your Life Mission. We'll personally remind you of these when the book is launched.)

Name *
Name
A mother of two kids, A teacher, An entrepreneur.
To teach others. To protect the environment. To be a great parent.
Raising healthy children. Building a high performing business. A great book.